This is a summary from a Podcast Episode with Vallen Webb and Hannah Carlsrud.

Becoming a parent is transformative and challenging, often accompanied by complex mental health needs. In this blog post, based on an insightful episode of the Life, Loss and Motherhood podcast, host Vallen Webb interviews mental health therapist Hannah Carlsrud. Hannah specializes in perinatal and maternal mental health and works with individuals and couples during the preconception to postpartum phases. They explore the importance of mental health support, particularly for moms, effective communication in relationships, and how to navigate postpartum mental health. Let's delve into Hannah’s expert advice and actionable tips for parents navigating mental health challenges.

Why Support for Moms Matters
Hannah explains how society tends to focus on the baby’s health and well-being after birth, often neglecting the mother’s mental health. Her decision to specialize in this field came after experiencing firsthand the lack of support for mothers transitioning into parenthood. She notes, “It’s essential for someone to be there to support moms and dads through this intense time because mental health can be incredibly vulnerable.”

The Role of Therapy in Parenting
Therapy can play a pivotal role in helping parents process trauma, grief, and changes in their identities and relationships. Hannah uses Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), a trauma-focused approach, to help clients work through difficult memories and emotional responses. For those dealing with birth trauma, pregnancy loss, or other experiences related to parenthood, EMDR can be a powerful healing tool, allowing individuals to reprocess trauma and reduce emotional intensity.

Effective Communication in Relationships
One major theme of the episode is the importance of effective communication, particularly during the postpartum period when couples face new stressors. Hannah shares a helpful tool from the Gottman Method called the “gentle startup,” which involves expressing feelings without assigning blame. For example, saying “I feel overwhelmed when the laundry piles up, and I need help with it” rather than “You never help with laundry.” This approach fosters understanding and empathy, essential for maintaining connection during challenging times.

Identifying Postpartum Depression vs. Grief
Distinguishing between grief and depression, especially postpartum depression, can be difficult. According to Hannah, postpartum depression generally starts after delivery, whereas pre-existing depression can increase the risk of developing postpartum symptoms. She advises, “If you’re struggling, reach out for help, regardless of the diagnosis. The important thing is to address your feelings and find support.”

Practical Coping Tools for New Moms
Hannah offers two powerful coping tools:

1. Personalized Affirmations: Write down a phrase that resonates, like “This is a phase, and it will pass.” Place reminders on your mirror, fridge, or other visible spots. This simple practice can provide comfort and perspective during overwhelming moments.

2. Diaphragmatic Breathing (Box Breathing): This involves inhaling for five counts, holding for five, exhaling for five, and holding again. This technique activates the parasympathetic nervous system, helping to reduce stress and foster a sense of calm. As Hannah notes, “Learning to breathe deeply can be one of the most effective self-regulation tools.”

Finding the Right Therapist
Finding a therapist who specializes in perinatal and maternal mental health can make a significant difference. Hannah encourages moms to research and select a provider who has the necessary experience and training, particularly if they’re struggling with postpartum challenges, trauma, or other specific needs. Resources like Psychology Today can be helpful for filtering therapists based on criteria like specialization, gender, and availability for telehealth sessions.

The Power of Community and Self-Care
Hannah emphasizes the importance of a support network for new parents, whether it’s a family member, friend, or support group. Building a “village” can help combat the isolation that often accompanies early parenthood. She also recommends taking breaks from social media, which can be a source of pressure and overwhelm due to conflicting parenting advice. She suggests, “Take a weekend away from social media and notice how it affects your mental state.”

Final Thoughts
Hannah’s expert advice on navigating parenthood stresses that seeking support, whether through therapy, friends, or family, can be empowering and transformative. The journey of parenthood is filled with challenges, but with the right tools, community, and professional guidance, it’s possible to navigate mental health effectively.

Key Takeaways

• Mental health support during the perinatal period is essential for both moms and dads.

• Communication techniques, like the gentle startup, can improve relationship dynamics.

• Recognize the signs of postpartum depression and seek help as needed.

• EMDR therapy can help process birth trauma and other challenging experiences.

• Self-care practices like personalized affirmations and diaphragmatic breathing can support emotional well-being.

• Building a supportive network is crucial for reducing feelings of isolation.

For more advice on Motherhood, Parenthood, Loss , mental health resources, and support strategies, tune into the Life Lesson Motherhood podcast!