Breaking the Silence: The Journey of Supporting Families Through Stillbirth and Loss.
At Evelyn James & Company, we are committed to breaking the stigma surrounding stillbirth and pregnancy loss. These topics remain shrouded in silence, despite their prevalence and profound impact on families. Our recent panel discussion illuminated the realities faced by bereaved parents and highlighted the urgent need for systemic change in how we address these losses.
This was a recorded conversation by Raising Illinois, between Vallen Webb, the founder of Evelyn James and Company, Anna Calix, the founder of Gifts From Liam, and Jesse Rojo, Raising Illinois Organizer. You can watch the recording here.
Stillbirth: The Hidden Reality
Stillbirth, defined as the loss of a baby at or beyond 20 weeks of pregnancy, affects 1% of all pregnancies in Illinois. Nationally, one in four pregnancies ends in loss. Despite these statistics, society largely ignores this reality. Families are often unprepared for the possibility of loss, leaving them to navigate a labyrinth of grief, medical decisions, and societal expectations with little to no support.
For parents like Anna and Vallen, both panelists and advocates, their experiences highlight the gaps in care and understanding. Anna, a bereaved mother and founder of the nonprofit Gifts from Liam, shared how the unexpected loss of her son in 2016 propelled her into advocacy. Vallen, who lost her daughter Evelyn in 2019 during her husband's Navy deployment, channeled her grief into creating resources and training programs for families and perinatal professionals.
Systemic Failures in Bereavement Care
Both Anna and Vallen emphasized that their losses were compounded by a lack of informed care and support:
Lack of Awareness and Preparation
Many parents are unaware of the risks of stillbirth because providers hesitate to discuss it, fearing they will scare patients. Yet, this lack of information leaves families blindsided when the unthinkable occurs.
Parents often face a flurry of medical decisions—autopsy, cremation, funeral arrangements—while in a state of shock and grief, with no guidance or time to process.
Insufficient Professional Training
Doulas, nurses, and medical professionals frequently lack bereavement training, leaving families unsupported during and after their loss.
Simple, meaningful options—like allowing parents to hold their baby or participate in cultural rituals—are often overlooked due to outdated practices and biases.
Economic and Emotional Burdens
Families face significant financial costs, including burial, cremation, and counseling, often without assistance.
Systemic racism and bias further complicate care for families of color, as their concerns are more likely to be dismissed or minimized.
The Path Forward: Advocacy and Systemic Change
1. Legislative Advocacy
Anna highlighted the recent passage of Liam’s Law in Illinois as a critical first step. This law ensures:
Families can receive a Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth to acknowledge their baby’s life.
Hospitals are required to inform families of this option, addressing past implementation failures.
Next steps include introducing a stillbirth tax credit to offset the financial burden of loss, a policy already adopted in several states.
2. Bereavement Training for Professionals
Vallen’s work focuses on training doulas in Pregnancy Loss Education to fill the care gap for families experiencing loss. These doulas provide critical emotional and logistical support, yet systemic barriers—like lack of funding and recognition—make this care inaccessible for many families.
3. Raising Awareness and Normalizing Conversations
Through her Life, Loss and Motherhood Podcast, Vallen creates space for discussions about loss, parenting after grief, and the complexities of navigating relationships and identity after a stillbirth.
4. Addressing Socioeconomic Barriers
Economic security is vital for families coping with loss. Policies like the stillbirth tax credit and increased funding for bereavement services can reduce the financial strain, enabling families to focus on healing.
Why This Work Matters
Supporting parents through loss is not only about compassion—it’s an investment in families and future generations. Studies show that unresolved grief from stillbirth can affect parents’ mental health, relationships, and attachment to subsequent children. By providing comprehensive care and resources, we can help families heal and thrive.
A Call to Action
The panel discussion closed with a powerful reminder: systemic change starts with open conversations. At Evelyn James & Company and Gifts from Liam, we are committed to shining a light on the hidden realities of loss, advocating for policy change, and creating resources to support families and professionals alike.
Let’s break the silence together. Share your story, support legislation like Liam’s Law, and demand better care for all families navigating the unimaginable. Together, we can ensure that no one faces their grief alone.
For resources and support, visit Evelyn James & Company or contact us directly.
Big thanks to Raising Illinois for hosting Evelyn James and Company and Gifts From Liam in this conversation. Thank you, Anna, for all your expertise, compassion and support. I think you are absolutely incredible in all you do and all the families you help.
